That which is hallow burns easily. I'm just shadows and old lies held together by good intentions and hope.

It's summer again. I always hated summer. The heat is too much to bare and I can't enjoy my cigarette if there's no draft around. My throat is always horse like I'm inhaling shards of glass.

I've been staring at this keyboard for so long, wishing for the right words to come, to filter the poison, to let it out. Stroking the letters always made me feel cleaner and now it seems like there's blood in my poison. I feel like I have to give up on this too and I'm vaguely and distantly terrified of what will happen if I do.

hush it's ok. Dry your eye.

Slender white finger against full pink lips. Is that a smirk, is that a compationate smile. Do you care?

How much do you like the pain? how much do you want the attention? How much are you willing to pay for it? Not this.. you're not willing to pay this much. You're not willing to pay at all. you just wanted to cheat and you're still hoping there's a way to not get caught.It's so easy.

Oh, foolish little girl who thought she could doublecross the devil. He's had more experience at it than you ever will. Did you really think your soul is yours to give away? What is he going to do with your soul? He wants your pain, your dirty thoughts, your ephemeral justifications of what you are. you're rotten enough to like it, rotten enough not want to pay the price. Pretending not to care is taking too much of your energy. Calm is a hard facade to keep together when you're falling apart and have gone past being ashamed of it. you want their sympathy and their pity cause then they'll pay attention. it's not a novel, it's not a movie.

I'm just afraid it will hurt like hell.